We pulled up late, just past eight
The parking lot was full of pickup plates
Inside was hotter than a grease-stained pan
Smelled like cornmeal, coleslaw, and a life plan
I thought we’d blend, sit down, eat light
But I was the catch of the night, all right
First guy to look had a shrimp tattoo
Winked at my girl like I wasn’t there too
Second one nodded, didn’t blink twice
Third one asked if I fought or played nice
Then a hand on my shoulder, voice like doom—
“Is he botherin’ you, little lady?” across the room
There’s somethin’ fishy at the Friday night fish fry
I came for the catfish, not to nearly die
Don and Rosie sat down real close
Asked me my past like a jury of ghosts
“Boy, you been married? You better treat her right”
Now I’m sweatin’ more than the hushpuppies fried tonight
Didn’t smell a rat, but I ain’t gonna lie—
There’s somethin’ fishy at the Friday night fish fry
Then a smoky-voiced cougar with rhinestone lips
Said, “I like your voice, sugar — and your hips”
She slid me a napkin with a heart and a wink
I pretended it was a receipt for a drink
My girl just laughed, said, “Ain’t this fun?”
I said, “It’s a whole lot of things — but fun ain’t one”
There’s somethin’ fishy at the Friday night fish fry
Where the tartar’s tangy and the tension’s high
The locals circle like I’m fresh meat
While I just try not to overheat
Don’s got questions, Rosie’s got eyes
And cougar’s got plans I ain’t authorized
Didn’t smell a rat, but I can’t deny—
There’s somethin’ fishy at the Friday night fish fry
Next time I’ll suggest pizza or wings
Something less fatal, with fewer strings
But she loves her town and I love her face
So I guess I’ll just keep dodgin’ plates
There’s somethin’ fishy at the Friday night fish fry
The grease is hot, and so’s the side-eye
They serve their catfish with a test of will
And a side of “Boy, you’d better sit still”
I came for dinner, but the stakes ran high
So I left with indigestion and a slice of humble pie
Didn’t smell a rat, but I ain’t gonna lie—
There’s somethin’ fishy
At the Friday
Night fish fry
Other lyrics by Bill Leyden:
Bingo Hall Scandal
Wednesday night at the old rec hall I figured I’d drop in, maybe win it all Ten-dollar buy-in, crowd was thick Scent of lavender and menthol sticks They smiled sweet, …
Cougar Consignment Store
Pulled into town ‘round a quarter past four Lookin’ for a deal and maybe a little decor Main Street’s quiet, not much goin’ on But the neon flickered “Open” …
Fudge and Gas in Uranus
Rollin’ down 44, windows cracked wide Birthday dinner by the lake, feelin’ just right A little full, a little high on life Then that fuel light came on and cut through …
Gift Store Heartbreaker
She came from nowhere with a truck and a plan Set up shop where the old pawn used to stand Painted the walls in a rose petal hue Hung wind chimes that whispered, “I dare …
I've Had My Fill of Phil
We flew in from Arizona skies To her brother-in-law’s farm under firefly lights Big birthday bash, folks all around Kids with sparklers, cousins gettin’ down I …